Who am I? Who do you want to be?

Your identity has a tremendous influence on your behavior. What we do readily or refuse to do is strongly connected with how we identify who we are. We tend to say, "I'll do that. That's who I am." Or, "I would never think of doing that. I'm not that kind of person." This pattern can work for us or against us depending on the nature of our subjective identity.

There was a famous study designed to illustrate the power of our sense of identity.

"Can we place this large billboard with the words: DRIVE CAREFULLY on your front lawn?" a number of homeowners were asked. Unbeknown to them the question was posed by a student working on a research project.

Understandably, most people answered, "No." They didn't want unsightly signs on their expensive front lawns.

This same request was then posed in two steps. The house owners were asked, "Are you for safe driving?" Everyone replied, "Of course, yes."

"Then would you please sign this petition for safe driving." Most agreed to sign.

Several weeks later those who signed were approached again. "You signed a declaration that you are for safe driving. Are you still for safe driving today?"

"Yes. I haven't changed my mind," was the unanimous response.

"Since you are a person who cares about safe driving, could you please allow us to place this billboard with a DRIVE CAREFULLY message on your front lawn?"

Most agreed. Why? Because once they identified themselves as individuals who cared about safe driving, they acted consistently with their new identity. Previously even if they agreed, they might have done so reluctantly. Now that they were acting in a way consistent with their identity as being concerned about safe driving, they felt good about doing their part to help save lives. This principle applies to all areas.

On our subject, the principle can be stated: Identify yourself as a person who is kind and caring and you will spontaneously upgrade your level of kindness.

There are many instances when you will have opportunities to do acts of kindness for others but might not be open to do them. At times you might not recognize the opportunity. At other times, you just won't feel like doing the kind deed. Or you might not feel like it's incumbent upon you to speak up.

When you identify yourself as a person who loves kindness, you will notice opportunities you hadn't noticed before. You will feel like doing acts of kindness you didn't feel like doing before. And you will always feel that it's up to you to do as much good as you can throughout your life.

As you develop your love for kindness, you will view yourself as a person with a life goal to help others. You might not choose to share this with others. But in your heart you will know that this is who you are.

From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives:
Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin 

Profile Pictures-Facebook

So you are a bottle of energy beverage? Maybe a sports car? Or my favorite-the Blue Box!

Facebook profile pictures are supposed to give the viewer an idea of who you are. If you are trying to build a business then here are some suggestions for chosing a picture that will attract people to you.

1) Make it a picture of YOU. You can be with your kids or your dog or even your sports car, but it has to be you, not some cartoon character or bottle of beverage (MLM or other). Put the kids pictures in one of your albums.

2) KIS- Keep it simple. Don't expect people to know who you are if you are standing with a bunch of people or far off. Make sure you are the center of the focus and there are not too many distractions around you.  

3) Smile! Nobody wants to do business with someone who frowns. You can have a neutral look, but a smile is best. If you have a problem smiling-see a dentist!

4) Make the picture clear- unless you are hoping for some dramatic effect, make the picture a clean shot. Most of the pictures taken off webcams are lousy.

5) Don't make it look too professional- that will scare people and think you are a snob. Unless you are leader in your field and have publish a successful book (think Robert Kiyosaki successful) , don't use a photo taken in a studio. Wedding pictures are kitsch but OK.

6) Keep things under wraps- don't show too much "skin". If you want to put your beach pictures of you in a bikini or thong bathing suit, PLEASE  put it in one of your albums, just don't use one of the pictures as your profile picture, it's not professional.

To your success,

Judy