Pain- an uncomfortable necessity of life

Nobody likes to be in pain. Pain can make a normally happy baby miserable, a pleasant person cranky. But pain is necessary in all areas of life.

There is a neurological disorder where the pain receptors aren't working properly. These people feel no pain. Now you might think that this disorder is a cool thing to have but pain is a physical message "something here is in trouble, correct the problem". You are touching a hot stove, the pain tells you your hand is in danger and that you need to move it or you will burn yourself badly. How would a woman know she is supposed to give birth if she didn't have the contractions preparing her for the arrival of the baby?

How many times have I heard, while working in the dental clinic, "how could this tooth need a root canal, it didn't hurt me" or " I only come to the dentist when my teeth hurt".  Why do we need to experience pain to take care of something?

If you look at pain in this way, it is a blessing to experience pain. There are other illnesses that if you wait till you are in pain, you might be too late.For example, high blood pressure, cancer, diabetes, in the beginning stages, there is no pain involved. 

There is a famous expression when talking about exercise "no pain no gain", we need to feel the pain to feel that we are accomplishing something during our exercise.  I would admit that it is not "pain" that we are feeling in our exercise routine but the extreme effort we are putting into it to get the maximum of our workout.

I wish to take this expression one step further, in the area of relationships-"no pain, no gain" a couple who do not admit that something is bothering them, that don't "fight", will not grow in their relationship. I remember watching a movie "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" it was about a couple who lived secret lives as hired assassins, each spouse not knowing that the other one was a hired assassin. At one point they were hired to kill each other by the same person. During the course of the movie, they show how they live their lives on a daily basis, shallow and boring, until they discovered each other's secret and from that point on their relationship was much stronger and deeper and they were able to fight against the people who were trying to kill them.  Alone they wouldn't have been able to win but together they were unstoppable. 

Any person who walks around scared to admit that something is bothering them, is living a lie and will be miserable.  Don't go looking for arguments, don't go looking to pick a fight, but if you are in a situation that you don't like, speak up! 

Who's in charge here?

Do you remember "Wheaties-Breakfast of champions"?  I think they were one of the first cereal  companies that put sports figures on their cereal boxes. I remember looking at a picture of Bruce Jenner for months. Today, most cereal companies put some action figure or TV star on their boxes. 

Now, I have nothing against Shrek, but I do not think he belongs on a bottle of ketchup. I do not buy Shrek Ketchup or any other food product that has a TV figure on the packaging. Why? I want to be in charge of what I expose my family. Not dictated by a box of cereal.  The picture on the box of cereal is a silent testimony that I agree with what the person stands for. If it is a TV character then I approve of TV and of the character and how she dresses/behaves/ talks. I do not approve of TV and am rather strict about which movies I will allow my child to watch.  What are you giving your silent approval? Spongebob? The Simpsons?  Football players?

My son goes to a private school where they have no formal dress code, the boys can wear almost anything they want. They cannot come in jeans and they cannot have pictures of sports figures on their shirts. What's wrong with jeans? Jeans are a casual clothing and when you wear casual clothing you act in a casual way. The school wants the children to realize that school is a serious place, where you come to learn.

I always wondered about the kids that come to school in sweat suits. Is that what they slept in the night before? If you come in your pajamas does that mean that you behave in the same way? Does it mean that you are sleepy all day and can't concentrate in class?

Are you following up?

If a doctor gives a medicine to a patient for high blood pressure and doesn’t follow up, is that malpractice? Whose responsibility is it to follow up? The doctor or the patient?  It depends. If the patient doesn’t come back for more medicine, then he is either dead or decided not to take it. If the patient comes back for more medicine, then you must check the blood pressure before prescribing more medicine.

If a direct salesman does not follow up with his buyers-someone else will and take them away from him! If the salesman does not ask for feedback on his product-someone else will show up and offer a better product or a better value.

Our network marketing business is similar to direct sales, but in our business if we sponsor someone into our company, whose responsibility is it to find out how the new client is doing? Ours!!! They might be too embarrassed to admit they are having difficulty.  They might be embarrassed to contact you , they think "you are such a busy person, you couldn't possibly have time for me". I know, since, that was me.

But then I realized if I believe in the company and the products, it is in everybody's best interest for me to be successful and therefore I started to ask for help.  My sponsor wants me to be successful and I of course, want to be successful.

So regarding follow up, should come from both directions, if you (the client) are not seeing the results you want, they you should be pounding on the doors asking for help!!!

Hey sponsor, wake up! You did the hardest part, you built a relationship with someone and had them join your business- now follow up with them. It's so much easier to continue a relationship then start one from scratch! Contact them once a week, find out how they are doing. Maybe you have a book to recommend, a workshop that you suggest to attend, a video to send, something that makes the client feel that they are important to you. Those 10 minutes will be paid back to you in the long run.

Being "All in"

Multitasking, that is what women are famous for. We can stir a pot, talk on the phone and rock a baby all at the same time.  But what about our network marketing business? Can we talk on the phone, check our text messages, type emails, and pet the dog all at the same time? Yes we can. But should we?

I read a story about a salesman who was invited to give two  presentations to two different managers. The first one, the manager's desk was full of papers . During the entire hour the salesman made the presentation, the manager signed and shuffled papers, answered phones,  and in addition, the secretary came into his office twice to ask him a question. The unspoken message to the salesman was one of imposing on the manager's time and that he wasn't important.

At the second manager, he was asked to fax a summary of the presentation and was given 10 minutes of his time. During the brief 10 minute meeting, the manager held all calls, cleared his desk, took notes on what was discussed asking a few questions. It was only 10 minutes but the salesman felt he was listened in the full.

We have to treat everyone the way we want to be treated. In network marketing we need to talk to people to advance our business. Any prospect with whom  we talk to on the phone, we need to be "all in", we need to listen with all our heart.  We can't be writing notes about another prospect, checking emails or thinking "when am I going to finish with this prospect, I have to call 5 other prospects". The prospect will feel your lack of attention and not be receptive to you. When we listen being "all in" then we will better understand and empathize with whom we are talking to.

It's the same thing with being with a company, then we are "all in" with that company, don’t look for another "great deal" to get in, you won't do either company any good.

What about listening to your kids? Do you "listen" and say uh huh a few polite times while you are cooking or chopping vegetables? Or do you stop cutting the vegetables look the child in the eyes and listen to what he has to say? What message are you telling your child?

Guess what? If you tell your child, "what you say is important to me , I will finish cutting these vegetables/talking on the phone and THEN listen to what you have to say", they'll be OK with that. Especially if you really do what you said you will do. That will show them that you are "all in". The important part is to focus on what you are doing at the time and give it 100%.

The importance of finding leaders-lesson 3

What to teach leaders.

So you think you have found a leader. Look at it this way. You've taught your new distributor to be a good distributor - and that means you've taught him: * All about the products. * All about the company. * How to be loyal.

* How to network. * How to be positive. * How to sponsor effectively. * How to retail products. * How to build a group. * How to duplicate his efforts, etc.

After teaching your distributor all these important skills, you now have a really well- trained distributor - but you don't have a leader!

So now you decide you're going to teach your distributor to become a leader. >> What are you going to teach him?

The only difference between leaders and distributors is how they think. In every situation or problem, a leader will think differently than a distributor.

So if we can train our distributor to think differently when problems, challenges, or situations arise . . . then we'll have a fully trained leader. Great! How are we going to do this?

We will make a list of problems, challenges, and situations and write down:

1. How a distributor would think, and

2. How a leader would think.

Once we've completed our list, we'll start training our potential leader, the person who passed the leadership test from last issue.

When a problem, challenge, or situation arises, we'll take our potential leader aside and say: 'There are two ways to think about this - as a leader and as a distributor. Let me show you the difference.' Then we'll methodically explain the difference between the two ways of thinking.

A potential leader can't learn what he doesn't know. We must give him the knowledge so he can learn this new type of thinking. If we don't do this, your potential leader will never develop, will flounder aimlessly, and will attempt to learn and memorize all kinds of nice information that won't help him to become a leader. Your potential leader will become frustrated!

If they do, let's solve their frustration and teach them exactly how and what to think in every problem, challenge, or situation.

The best way to show you how this works is to give you some practical, everyday examples that you can use right away.

 Imagine that you sell a product.

You go next door and sell some product to your neighbor. You come back home, order the product from the home office and . . . it's on backorder! If this happened to you, what would you think? Would you think: 'This is terrible! I took my neighbor's money and didn't deliver his products. He is really going to be mad at me. And then he'll tell everyone in the neighborhood that I am dishonest. My reputation will be ruined. I'll never be able to show my face again. Everyone in the neighborhood is going to laugh at me. My company can't even keep the products in stock. That's a simple job. If the company can't even keep products in stock, well, they probably won't be able to pay bonus checks. They probably can't even hire and fire employees properly. In fact, I bet they don't even have employees - just a bunch of answering machines. The company is going to collapse. And Western civilization as we know it will collapse! This is terrible - I quit!' >>

Would you characterize this as leadership thinking or as distributor thinking? It's obvious - this is distributor thinking and you would get distributor results because of this thinking.

How would a leader think when confronted with the exact same backorder situation?

A leader might think: 'Whoa, the product's backordered. These products are so much in demand that even if my customers give me money, they still can't get the product. It's so exclusive and selling so well, the company can't keep the products in stock. My new customer is going to be so impressed; he'll probably order two or three times more product to make sure he can get some. That means two or three times more product volume for me, and two or three times the bonus check. Wow! I hope they bring on some more backorders - yes!'

Would you characterize this as leadership thinking or as distributor thinking?

Point out that there are two ways of thinking - leadership thinking and distributor thinking. If you think like a leader you'll get leader results and if you think like a distributor, you'll get distributor results.

Then give your potential leader a big dose of personal responsibility. Tell him: 'I'm not going to change your thinking. That's up to you.

If you want distributor results, think like a distributor. If you want leadership results, think like a leader. It's strictly up to you which results you want.

Pick the results you want in your life, and then you'll know which type of thinking to choose.

An exercise!

First, write down all the everyday problems you encounter in your business.

Second, for each problem, write down what would represent leadership thinking and what would represent distributor thinking.

And third, write down any appropriate stories that you could tell your potential leader to help him change his thinking from distributor thinking to leadership thinking.

That's it. That's what you're going to have to teach them.

The best way to change a potential leader's thinking is with stories that illustrate graphically: 'Hey, this is reality. This is what works in the real world.'

Think of common challenges to your business and offer solutions with a "leader mentality" you might be surprised at your results.

See you at the top!

Special thanks to Tom "Big Al" Schreiter for material for this blog post

The importance of finding leaders-lesson 2

How to find leaders?

You might be able to "steal" a leader from another company, but that can get messy, so I don't recommend it.

The best way to get leaders is to build them from scratch.

In other words, we are going to find a distributor who is not a leader now. Then, we're going to teach him exactly how to become a leader.

But there is a challenge! If this distributor is not a leader now, he is going to look exactly like any other temporary distributor, right?

So how do we know who to build into a leader?

How do we avoid wasting time building the wrong person into a leader?

We give them a test! Not a math test to calculate their compensation plan, or a history of network marketing test! But a test that they will prove to us they are a potential leader otherwise you will work with someone who is coachable, committed to action. 

Have you ever spent lots of energies on someone who wanted to be a leader -- and that person never became a leader? All they did was complain that they have no good prospects.

Everyone says they want to be a leader- What a waste of time and effort? Who do you want to spend your time with? Who do you want to spend your energies on?

So what is the test?

A simple test- You give them a book! Tell them to read the book and that you'll check back with them in three days to discuss the book. This test will separate the men from the boys.

You give them a book and say "Here's a book that's really going to help you build your business. I know you want to be a leader. Today is Monday. Why don't we get together on Thursday and discuss what's in this book? I'll show you how you can use it in your business.'

Of course I'll thank you for the book and say that I'm looking forward to our Thursday meeting.

Well, Thursday comes and you call me. I start making excuses over the telephone and say: 'Well, I couldn't read the book on Monday, because that's when my favorite program is on television. And then on Tuesday, I had to work overtime on my job. Wednesday night is family night. So I really haven't read the book yet.' >>

What would that tell you about me?

That says:

'Hey, if I can't put forth enough effort to read the book that should have taken you a few hours to finish, what chance is there that I would put forth an effort to take guests to meetings? To go to other training and listen to tapes? To drive to conventions?'

This doesn't mean that I will always be a non- leader. It just means that at this time in my life, I'm not willing to make a commitment. It doesn't mean I'm a terrible person, it just means - hey, I'm not going to be a leader right now. I have other priorities in my life.

 It's important that we give this test before we invest time in training a distributor to become a leader. If we don't perform this test, any time that we spend with an uncommitted distributor is wasted.

Here's another scenario-

You give me a book Monday night. We set up to speak on Thursday.

Lo and behold, the next morning I give you a call at 6 a.m.? I say: 'I know it's early, but I am wired with excitement. I've highlighted the book and made an outline. I know it's 6 a.m. but let's get together for breakfast. If we hurry up, we can have breakfast at 6:30 a.m. and talk about this book before I go to work.'

What would that tell you? >> Ka-ching! We have a winner here. This is a simple test but it makes all the difference in the world.

What book should you give as a test?

"Success in 10 Steps" by Michael Dlouhy is a good start.

You can get it at http://judyy.successin10steps.com/?mad=61440

But it doesn't matter which book you give as a test! Why? Because it's only a test. You're only checking for action from your potential leader. Remember, almost everyone will say that they want to become a leader, but talk is cheap. You have to check for that action commitment.

So if you don't have a brilliantly written "Success in 10 Steps" handy, you can give them a National  Geographic Magazine, A company magazine, a comic book. Anything.

It doesn't matter. You're only checking for action.

By the way, if you don't have a book or a magazine, what else can you give as a test? You could use videotape, an audiotape, or have your potential leader listen to a conference call - or send him to a store for milk and cookies. It's only a test. But if you don't have a book, an audiotape, or even videotape, you might reconsider your leadership capabilities. Either that, or find a good book to give your leadership candidates.

Now you may get disappointed, you will give a book to your currently obvious leaders and they WONT read the book. So to cheer you up, I recommend you give a book to the ones that aren't obvious, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Special thanks to Tom "Big Al" Schreiter for the material for this blog post.

The Importance of Finding Leaders-lesson 1

What is a leader?

If you had a choice between 1 qualified leader and 100 productive distributors- which would YOU prefer?

(Hint-think 1 general and 100 foot soldiers).

The answer is- 1 qualified leader! 100 productive (or non productive) distributors will drop out for one reason or another but the self confident leader will stick around through the hard times.

That is the secret to success in network marketing.

In this series of 3 articles, I am going to teach you how to find leaders and what to teach them so that you can then sit back and enjoy your iced tea at the pool.

To be successful in network marketing, all you have to do is build leaders and make them successful.' In other words, if you had a choice to go out and do a retail party to sell some skin care or long distance or some other prospecting techniques, that's nice - but that's probably a job. That's not building the type of residual income business you want.

While this activity is part of your business, this activity will not be the fastest route to your goal of becoming a profitable leader. You have to think differently if you're going to build a large and successful down line organization. You're going to carefully focus on which activities you do, because you want to be a leader.

Find a leader!

That sounds like a plan!

We're going to create our master plan in three easy steps. By mastering each step, one at a time, we'll end up with an organization of leaders. Here are the steps to master:

Step #1: Define what a leader is.

Step #2: How to find leaders.

Step #3: What to teach leaders.

So it sounds simple-just build leaders! It sounds like the line "find good prospects". How DO we find and build profitable leaders?!

The first definition I heard is from a man named Tracy Dietrich in Dallas, Texas.

He says that leaders are professional students of the business. In other words, leaders actually read the sales manual that came with their distributor kit.  We're students of network marketing - always looking for new ideas and information.

Leaders listen to audio training tapes, read books, go to up line meetings and, whenever they can, they attend company conventions.

You'll see leaders hanging around with the up line leaders hoping to pick up a good idea. This definition makes it easy to spot leaders. Just go to any training meeting and You'll see the chairs full of potential leaders.

Another definition of a leader is the person who you put in charge when you go on vacation. He is someone who does his business without your constant motivation and checking. He is someone you don't have to worry about.

The final definition of a leader-

This one is the toughest of all

A leader is someone who handles problems. Let's say there is a problem in the down line. Mike didn't get his order or Mary talked longer than Al or there was some bad news in the local press, or whatever. A leader handles the problem. Your leader will call the home office to trace the order, will help Al understand why Mary talked longer, or support and counsel a devastated distributor who is upset over some bad publicity.

The leadership test is this: Will the problem filter up line to you?

If you have a distributor whom you think is a leader -- but the distributor is still passing problems up line to you, this distributor in just a "wannabe" leader.

This is a tough test, but it separates leaders from the crowd.

More on finding leaders with lesson 2……..

Special thanks to Tom "Big Al" Schreiter for material for this blog post.

Be ready for life's surprises

I'll bet you've noticed that sometimes you get a life or business outcome you didn't figure on - or want. And other times, you get a really good outcome from a situation that looked pretty bad.

To me, experiences like this emphasize how important it is to have the outlook that your life is a wonderful adventure, full of surprises - which means you have to be ready for pretty much anything.

You're guaranteed to struggle at times. Knowing that, you can go in with a plan to get you back on the right road, no matter what the situation. And at times, you'll have great success. 


That's when you need a different plan, to really take advantage of your achievement.

No matter how much you know, or how experienced you are, or how detailed your plans are, your life and your future can change in a heartbeat.

In network marketing, you're meeting new people all the time. And they bring with them new situations and new opportunities. I've found I get the best results in life & business when I'm really open to these new ideas. Every once in awhile, you'll find a gem that makes your journey a lot more fun, or helps you reach your goals sooner.

No matter how much you plan, much of what happens is totally outside your control. So first, be ready and be alert. Then take what comes and use it to build the life you have dreamed of. 


The more you mentally prepare to adjust to life's inevitable changes, the better you will get at achieving your dreams.

To Your Success,

Judy